The Importance of Specificity

With examples from Zugzwang by Shaelin Bishop

My definition of a strong opening scene has always been one that spills out character voice, narrative atmosphere and hints at upcoming fears, desires and conflicts. In Shaelin Bishop’s Zugzwang, the opening scene is but a vague description from an omniscient narrator, breaking almost every rule. And yet, the opening line is as effective as any.

What makes this such a hooking opening scene?

The answer lies in specificity.

Consider the following excerpt:

“The woman smoking meth across from the bodega looks like your sister, so you offer her a pack of cigarettes and 43 dollars if she'll pretend to be her for one night. You could afford to pay more, but this is all you have in cash and she takes it.

Up close, she looks less like Reed — acne sockets her forehead, her jaw is too canine, cheekbones industrial instead of suburban, eyes minnows instead of hummingbirds, but you've already paid up. She wears an olive parka unzipped over bike shorts and an iridescent bralette with a pyramid cut-out over her solar plexus. A refugee from the future.”

It’s vague and curious, no hints of character conflict (at first glance). What must be understood is that Zugzwang -- like many of Bishop’s short stories -- are literary fiction. Just as any genre, literary fiction requires a set of its own conventions to create a fitting opening. Part of the genre’s appeal lies in word choice:deliberate syntax, powerful diction and riveting details. Bishop uses specific characteristics that entice readers. From the same excerpt, let’s have a look at examples of engrossing word choice, syntax and specificity, and how they add to the narrative.

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Mashal Ashfaq

first ventured into the world of writing with her sister. Since then, she has gone to explore different genres and styles: short fiction, literary fiction and most recently, non-fiction. When she’s not writing she can be found spending time with family, going on walks, or watching the latest grammar videos. Find out more at mashalashfaqq.wixsite.com/portfolio